First Date Tips For Men: How I Consistently Lead First Dates To Sex (Pt. 1)

First Date Tips For Men

Dates are the ideal situation for any man who hopes to have casual sex. Most- but not all- girls who go on a date with a guy in the 21st century are open to the possibility of getting sexual (oftentimes, they’re even disappointed if the guy doesn’t make a move).

There’s a few reasons for this. Firstly, we don’t live in the Victorian Era: the modern culture is getting progressively more sex-positive. Casual sex is a big part of today’s cultural narrative- you’ll see random hookups being promoted in everything from pop music to family-friendly sitcoms

Dates are much better than clubs for a hookup because despite the sex-positive cultural swing, girls still go out in groups, and they want to protect each other from getting axe murdered by some random guy in a club.

Additionally, the logistical situation is far more complicated in a club. The girl you’re talking to might be responsible for someone else’s ride, she may have work in a few hours, or she may be sleeping a hotel with several other girls. There’s a litany of complications that make pulling more difficult.

Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t pull from clubs or bars, you certainly can, but it’s much easier to pull on dates- if you have a plan.

Many guys go on dates and “wing it,” they just hope for the best and see what happens. They might get a kiss goodbye, but rarely more. Leading dates towards sex isn’t hard, but there are a few steps you should take to be able to consistently get the results you want.


A. The Mindset

She Wants to Fuck Me Until Proven Otherwise

Assume she wants to fuck you. No woman is oblivious to the fact that dating, and sex go hand in hand. If a girl agrees to go on a date with you, she’s probably open to the possibility of having sex with you. (read this article for more on developing this mindset)

Understand, though, that she isn’t going to make it too obvious that she wants to fuck you. We men would love it if girls just made it clear, by saying “Want to come over to my place and fuck?” But that’s just not how girls act.

If you rely on obvious signs that a girl wants to fuck you, you’re going to miss out on most of your opportunities.

The Best Indicator of Interest is That She’s on A Date with You

As a man, as soon as you see a hot girl, you’re ready to fuck. Girls are very different, they’re in a perpetual ‘maybe’ state about sleeping with a particular guy. Most women will never risk rejection with a guy they like by making a bold move (it’s so much less risky to wait for the guy to make a move). That’s why most girls will do no more than make it easy for you to lead the interaction towards sex.

You have to assume the burden of the interaction. If you confidently lead the date towards sex, the girl will make it easy for you if she’s interested.

You can overanalyze all the little signs she’s giving you that she’s interested or not- her eye contact, body language, if she’s touching you etc.- or you can assume that she’s interested because she’s on a date with you, and lead the interaction forward until she shows hesitance.

If you assume interest, you might get rejected, but you won’t reject yourself. Truthfully, men reject themselves far more than women reject them (think about all the opportunities you’ve had where a girl liked you, but you didn’t pull the trigger). Pick your poison: assume women are interested and risk an awkward moment, or wait for proof that women are interested, and go without knowing what could have happened if you took a risk.


B. Preparation For The Date


Once you’ve got the mindset down, your next step is to have a specific logistical plan for how you’re going to lead your dates forward.


Have an excuse to pull


Generally, when you pull, you’ll make an excuse like, “Let’s watch a movie,” or, “Let’s grab a drink,” have this excuse prepared in advance. Have a bottle of wine ready at your place, have food ready to cook (it can be as simple as a frozen pizza), have a movie downloaded on your computer, or even have a checkers board ready to go. The excuse to pull doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, but plan for it in advance, otherwise you’ll have to think about how you’re going to pull her while you’re on the date, and this can easily backfire.


Choose a favorable location


Generally, I have dates about a mile from my place. There’s no reason to create difficulty for yourself by planning the date somewhere out of the way. Now, if you can’t pull to your place because you live with your parents, you’re homeless, or whatever, then find out what area she lives in and plan the date somewhere close to her place.

I avoid dinner and movies because it feels too formal, and this can make the girl feel pressured. Instead, my go to is coffee. It’s a public place so she doesn’t have to worry about getting murdered (compared to inviting her to a hike or straight to your place), and it’s a very casual social environment where it’s easy to have conversation.


Before The Date

First date tips for men

I always confirm my dates a couple hours before the planned meeting time. This massively reduces the risk of getting stood up. I simply text, “See you at Epic in 2hrs 😊” or something along those lines. Nine times out of ten, she’ll respond confirming or flaking.

If she doesn’t respond, I just stay at home. Then, if she does go, she’ll text me when she gets there, and I’ll just say I’m running a few minutes late and head out then.

If you’re there before her


If I get to the date before her, I like to call a friend and just chat. If I just sit there and wait, it’s very easy for me to get stuck in my head, but by talking to a friend I’m able to be social, have fun, and not overthink. Plus, when she sees me, there’s no chance it’ll look like I’ve been anxiously waiting for her.


Part 2:

Part 2 will be released soon, add your email to the form below and you’ll get it delivered straight to your inbox as soon as it’s released (also, you’ll receive a free eBook).

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One Comment

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