Sasha was way out of my league. She was the kind of girl whose beauty makes everyone’s heart skip a beat when she enters a room. I was shocked when Sasha agreed to go on a date with me. Fortunately, I had the perfect plan to sweep her off her feet.
At the end of our date, I walked Sasha to her door and said, “I had a really great time. I wanted to give you something.” I then handed her the bouquet of flowers I had hidden behind my back.
Sasha looked dumbfounded. She paused before saying, “Thanks, you’re such a nice guy. Anyway, I have to go.” My job was done, this girl was definitely going to be my girlfriend.
Except. . . the next day, Sasha didn’t respond to my texts. As the days went by – and she still didn’t respond – I grew increasingly frustrated. I sent Sasha several messages, each more desperate than the last.
Eventually, she responded by telling me, “Thanks for the flowers. That was really sweet. But, I think we’d just be better off as friends.”
Why did Sasha friend-zone me after I bought her flowers? Because I misunderstood what truly sweeps a girl off her feet. Society taught me that I should try to prove myself to a girl, that I should lavish her with praise and attention.
Little did I know what really impresses women is the exact opposite of what most men think it is.
A lucky few men grow up learning the secret to sweeping women off their feet, while the vast majority of guys are never taught the truth. Over the last 5 years, I’ve done the excruciatingly hard work of approaching thousands of attractive women to learn what really makes them tick.
What I learned shocked me. I discovered the key to sweeping a girl off her feet. Just having a basic understanding of this strategy will make you stand out to women as one of the few guys who “gets it”. And if you master this strategy, women will find you to be irresistible.
How to Sweep A Girl Off Her Feet
The harder you try to impress a girl, the less impressed by you she will be. Buying a girl gifts, sending her long, thoughtful texts, spending most of your free time with her – these are all great ways to show you care.
But that’s the problem. Showing a girl how much you care (unless she’s your girlfriend) is going to creep her out. Putting a lot of effort into getting a girl will make her feel like you want something from her. Nothing is a bigger turn-off.
In any social interaction, one person cares more about what happens than the other. For example, an employee usually cares more about what his manager thinks about him than vice versa. As a result, the employee will alter his behavior to get his manager to like him:
- The employee will laugh at his manager’s jokes, even if they aren’t funny.
- The employee will act impressed with his manager’s ideas, even if they suck.
- The employee will take pains to avoid saying anything that might offend his manager.
Because an employee has a lot to gain (or lose) from his manager, he puts on an act to impress the manager.
In the workplace, this can be necessary because it shows that you can fit in. But we men often play out the same dynamic with the women we like – and it backfires.
When most guys like a girl, they do all the same things that an employee does to impress his manager. Guys think they’ll win a girl over by:
- Agreeing with everything she says.
- Being careful not to say anything that might offend her.
- Complimenting her, buying her things, and bending over backwards for her.
In reality, all these things make girls feel uncomfortable for the same reason we feel uncomfortable when a salesman knocks on our door (we can tell they want something from us).
Trying to impress a girl makes her feel, on a gut level, that you see her as ‘above you’. You’re treating her like she’s a queen and you’re a lowly peasant. Naturally, queens aren’t interested in dating peasants.
Women are attracted to men who are of at least equal status to them. A queen doesn’t want to date a peasant, she wants to date a king.
The key to impressing a girl is counterintuitive, it’s to treat her like she’s no more important to you than one of your male friends.
To sweep a girl off her feet, you don’t need to treat her like dirt. You just need to treat her like an equal. When you interact with a friend who you’re totally comfortable with, what do you do?
Probably the following:
- You make fun of him, and he makes fun of you.
- You’re unfiltered, you say whatever is on your mind, even if it’s offensive.
- If he tells a joke and it’s stupid, you call him out on it.
When we’re around someone who we aren’t trying to impress, we’re at our most charismatic. As a result, we come across as more impressive.
The secret to learning how to impress a girl is to stop trying to impress her: make fun of her, make fun of yourself, and be unfiltered.
This isn’t to say you should treat a girl as if she’s inferior to you, it’s simply to say you shouldn’t treat her as your superior. Treat her like a human being with flaws and fears and hopes.
This might sound obvious, yet I’ve seen so many guys (including myself) make the mistake of trying too hard to make a girl like them.
Look at it this way, the more effort you put into chasing a girl, the less room she has to chase you. If you’re always texting first, if you’re buying her things, if you’re eager to spend more time with her – then you’re not giving her the opportunity to show interest in you.
If you’re thinking, “But what if she never texts me first?” “What if I approach a girl and she doesn’t add anything to the conversation unless I ask her more questions?” Well, then she’s probably not into you, and your best bet is to move on.
If a girl doesn’t make herself available to spend time with you or if she doesn’t add much to the conversation, more often than not, she just isn’t feeling it. Trying to convince her to like you is just going to push her further away.
An attractive man is willing to lose a girl, he knows there are plenty of other great women he can meet. Only a desperate man tries to force a connection with a girl who isn’t interested.
Wrapping Up: How to Sweep A Girl Off Her Feet
The Rom-Com plot-line where a woman isn’t interested in a guy, but then he proves his worth to her by showering her with affection is mostly just a Hollywood myth.
Women don’t want men to prove themselves, they want to be treated like normal people. It’s ironic that the men who are most impressive to women are the men who don’t try to be impressive.
That’s why women like the archetypal bad boy. Bad boys are flawed, but at least they don’t try too hard or put on a show in a misguided attempt to sweep a girl off her feet.
Fortunately, you don’t have to be an asshole to have the same effect on women that a bad boy does. The secret is to stop treating women like they’re a prize to be won. Treat an attractive woman like you treat your male friends: make fun of her, make fun of yourself, and don’t try to impress her. Doing this will unleash the naturally charismatic side of your personality. Women will be impressed with your genuine free-spiritedness, and you will have learned how to truly sweep a girl off her feet.
If you want to do a deep dive into this topic, you can get a step-by-step system for effortlessly attracting women, here: Irresistible