It’s Monday, 2pm and this is our first attempt at day game. I chug the last third of my Four Loko and say, “Alright man, this should help, let’s go talk to some college girls!”
Now that we were both drunk, we thought the liquid courage would give us the extra push we needed to approach these girls without shitting ourselves.
We were wrong, my friend Nick and I walked around the campus for 3 hours pointing out hot girls, but every time, we made an excuse not to approach:
“She’s in a hurry.”
“She’s on her laptop.”
“She’s with a friend.”
“She’s too tall.”
After 3 hours of making excuses, we called it a day. We parted ways feeling ashamed that we couldn’t even walk up to a single girl and say hi.
Neither of us tried day game again for months. We decided that approaching women in the day was “creepy” and that we’d best just stick to the bars.
Day game should be easy. It shouldn’t take much effort to walk up to a girl you find attractive, have an interesting conversation with her, and leave with her number in hand.
But for me, the idea of approaching a woman in the day and starting a sexual relationship with her was about as frightening as being expected to defuse a bomb without training (and if we’re being honest, the same is true for most guys).
By default, day game is pretty damn hard for most guys, but if you know the right strategies, it can also be easy, even effortless.
Despite my initial struggles with day game, after hundreds of hours of practice – and thousands of approaches – I was able to learn how to effortlessly meet and attract women in the day. Use the 3 strategies in this article to do the same in your life.
1. Use Momentum
You’re at the mall looking for the right woman to approach. It’s been months since you’ve walked up to a stranger and started a conversation with her. You’re thinking, “How can I approach without making it awkward?’
Hold on, stop right there. If you haven’t approached a girl in the day recently, your first approach is going to be awkward.
You’re doing something way out of your comfort zone. You’re facing the universal human fear of rejection head on. There’s no way around it , your first approach – your first few approaches even – are probably going to be crappy.
The only thing that’s worse than dealing with the awkwardness of approaching a girl is watching Pornhub later that night, wondering what might have happened if you had made yourself vulnerable by putting yourself out there and approaching some women.
We all get approach anxiety. We’re all a bit choppy and awkward the first time we approach a girl during a day game session. Embrace it. Don’t try to avoid the awkwardness, that will only make you more anxious. Instead, dive into it head first.
The first time you go to the gym to lift weights, it’s painful and stressful. But after you’ve been working out for several months consistently, that same pain becomes something you actually look forward to and even enjoy.
The same is true with day game, your first approaches might be rough, but if you barrel through them the momentum will transform what was at first awkward, into something exciting.
Every approach you do will make your next approach that much smoother. Your first approach might last 30 seconds before you run out of things to say, but your second will likely last a couple minutes, and your 5th approach will be a 15-minute fun conversation that leads to you and the girl exchanging numbers.
Social momentum is powerful. With it, you can transition from feeling nervous to extremely confident in as little as 30 minutes.
To build social momentum there are a few best-practices:
Talk to Everyone
Talk to everyone, not just the girls you find attractive*. Some guys hear this and think, “Why the fuck would I want to talk to a girl I don’t want to bang her?”
There are two primary reasons. The first is practical, in most environments, there’s only going to be a few girls you’re really attracted to. If you limit yourself to only talking to those girls, it’s going to be hard to get social momentum working in your favor.
Secondly, talking to everyone will help you get in a fun, social mood. This positive mood will translate to better interactions with the girls you are really interested in. Don’t think of girls as sex-objects, see them as real people who you can share an experience with.
If you’re not interested in a girl you approach, share some good vibes and leave the interaction on a positive note. By approaching everyone, you’ll learn how to approach women not to get something from them, but to offer value. Once you’re in a state of offering value, you’ll have no problem attracting even the most beautiful women you approach
(*If you’re in an environment with plenty of beautiful women to approach, this doesn’t apply, it would be fine to only approach attractive women in this case.)
Don’t Hesitate Between Approaches
As soon as you say, “Bye” to a girl, be ready to jump in and approach someone else. If you spend too much time hesitating between interactions, your social momentum will start to decrease.
You don’t need to spend your whole day game session spam approaching, but you should value your time. Every minute you spend walking around not talking to someone is a minute you could be spending getting a girl’s number.
Before you dismiss this as something “weird” or “creepy”, give it a try. Make a point to spend no more than 2 minutes between approaches during your next day game session. Notice what happens. I guarantee you’ll be impressed with how powerful the social momentum you build is.
Don’t Let Your Ego Take Over
The worst part of getting rejected by a girl isn’t the experience of the rejection itself, but your thoughts afterwards about what the rejection means.
Most rejections in day game are pretty mild. A girl might say she’s in a hurry to get somewhere or that she has a boyfriend, but you’re rarely going to hear anything hurtful or cruel.
But if you get rejected, and you start to think:
“She rejected me because I’m Indian,”
“Sorority girls are all stuck up, that’s why she rejected me,”
“If I were better looking that wouldn’t have happened,”
These kinds of thoughts are toxic. Once you start to give a negative meaning to your rejections, your ego is taking over, and if you let that happen, your positive momentum will be replaced with self-pity and excuse making.
We all get these thoughts from time to time, the key to overcoming them is to call them out for what they are. Whenever you start feeling dejected or negative, remind yourself, “This is just my ego talking, not every girl will like me and that’s fine. The next girl I talk to might hang on my every word.” By doing this, you’ll prevent yourself from getting stuck in a negative feedback-loop that drags you down.
2. Be Sociable
When I see some of my friends approach a girl, it’s like watching a shark who smelled blood going on the hunt. These guys aren’t interested in having a good conversation, they just want to get laid.
Coming on too strong is a great way to make women uncomfortable. To attract a woman, you need to give her space to invest in you. When you focus too much on “getting her”, she can’t invest because everything you’re saying is designed to help you achieve your agenda.
I know this flies in the face of the advice of many pickup artists, but one of the most attractive qualities you can have is being a good listener. *gasp*
To be clear, I’m not saying you should agree with everything a girl says or let her walk all over you. I’m just saying that you should give her a chance to talk about herself, to tell her stories, to share herself with you.
Giving her that opportunity will make her enjoy your company, and if a girl actually likes talking to you, it’s a thousand times more likely that she’ll agree to get a cup of coffee with you when you ask.
Yes, you want to show sexual intent in your interactions, but you don’t need to show intent by telling a girl she’s pretty, you can do it by making strong eye contact and with your vibe.
The key to being sociable is so obvious, but it’s something few men do: pay attention to her. When she’s talking, don’t think about the next thing you can say, really listen to her. Don’t think about how you’re going to ask this girl for her number, just listen to her. Don’t think about whether this girl likes you, just listen to her.
Do this well, and you’ll be shocked by how much more successful you are at attracting women.
3. Be Realistic
If you go into day game with unrealistic expectations, you’re going to end up disappointed. Truth is, at least half the women you approach during the day are going to have boyfriends. Many of the ones who don’t have boyfriends are in a casual relationship that they hope becomes something more.
Most of the girls you approach are going to reject you by default. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it’s just the nature of day game.
I see a lot of guys get discouraged when they get a few girls’ numbers from day game, but they can’t turn any of them into dates.
Most of your numbers from day game aren’t going to lead to anything. Some girls will give you their number even if they never intend to see you again, just to be nice. Other girls will genuinely like you when they meet you, but they’ll end up hooking up with some other guy before they can go on a date with you.
I wouldn’t expect more than 10% of your numbers from day game to lead to dates. If you have realistic expectations, you won’t get discouraged when you get hit with the reality that most women you approach aren’t going to go on dates with you.
To be fair, if your game is on-point, you can definitely get more than 10% of the girls you exchange numbers with out on a date with you. But it’s going to take time to get there.
It’s always better to have low expectations and to get better results than you expected than it is to have high expectations and end up disappointed.
Let’s say each week you went out to do day game 3 times for two hours each session. In 2 hours, you can easily get 5 girls’ numbers. That would lead to roughly 15 numbers a week. If you get one out of ten of those girls out on dates, that’s 1.5 dates per week (perhaps one of your dates is with a girl who’s missing an arm and a leg).
My point is, even if you’re fairly inexperienced at approaching women, you can get good results from day game – if you take enough action. But don’t expect to get any results if you go out once every three weeks and do a few approaches each time. Don’t start blaming your looks, or the fact that women are stuck up or whatever until you’re taking enough action to get real results.
Wrapping Up How to Win at Day Game – 3 Keys for Attracting Women During the Day
Day game can be both fun and rewarding – but only if you persist through the initial pain period and keep realistic expectations (I.E. you’re not going to date every girl you talk to).
A lot of guys who try day game end up giving up because they don’t get instant success, but like anything worthwhile, it will take some time and effort to get the results you want from day game.
Implement the strategies above, and you will be able to date attractive women you meet during the day.
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