The words you use matter. Words can have a deep emotional impact on women, consider the fact that romance is the best-selling genre of books by far ($1.44billion/year). These books use the power of words to get women to obsess over men they cannot see, hear, or touch. Words are to women what a Playboy centerfold is to men.
To be clear, if you don’t have a certain level of confidence, you can’t just change your word choice and expect to suddenly become a total pimp- if you’re nervous, your biting verbal wit or assertive language will come off as awkward and forced.
(If you’re not relatively confidence with women, you should throw yourself in the fire to develop your confidence before using the strategies outlined in this article.)
But, if you are relatively confident, the right use of language can take your game to the next level. The right words act as a sort of emotional foreplay for a woman that will get her yearning for a physical connection with you.
In this article, I’m going to share with you flirting tips in the form of power words and phrases you can use in your interactions with women that will have an emotional impact (to set the stage for you to have a physical impact 😉…)
The Flirting Tips and How To Use Them
This one’s subtle. You can throw in the word actually before you say anything complimentary to a girl. “You’re actually really smart!” “You’re actually interesting!” “You’re actually funny!” This accomplishes two things,
- It makes the compliment backhanded in a very harmless way. Compliments can easily backfire because they come off too try hard, adding “actually’ beforehand prevents this from happening because now your compliment is also a subtle insult.
- It makes her wonder why it’s a surprise that she has this good quality. “I’m actually smart? Why would he assume I’m not smart?”
This will get her in her head a bit, and make her emotionally reactive to you. -an important component of any seduction.
Now, you don’t want to give her the opportunity to say, “What do you mean actually?” Change the subject immediately after saying actually so that it affects her unconsciously, but she doesn’t have the opportunity to consciously react to it.
If she does still bring it up, “What do you mean I’m actually smart? I don’t look smart?” You can just say, “I don’t know if you noticed, but most people aren’t very smart.” This way you’re not backing down, but you’re also not creating a logical discussion or argument.
Are you adventurous?
When you ask a girl, “Are you adventurous?” You’re using something psychologist Robert Cialdini calls “pre-suasion”. This quote from The Seduction Blueprint explains the power of asking a girl if she’s adventurous,
“Researchers wanted to see if simply stating you are adventurous makes you more likely to agree to try something new. Research assistants stopped people who were shopping and asked if they would provide their email address to receive instructions on how to get a free sample of a new soda. Only 33% of people stopped agreed to give their contact information.
Another group of people were also stopped, but they were initially asked, “Do you consider yourself to be somebody who is adventurous and likes to try new things?” Almost everyone agreed that they were, and a total of 75% of people approached gave their email addresses; more than twice the percentage of the first group. (Bolkan and Anderson 2009).”
When you ask a girl if she’s adventurous, there’s a very good chance she’ll say yes, most people want to identify as adventurous, it’s a positive trait. But people have an interesting psychological quirk, when we say we have a certain trait, we’re more likely to act as if we have that trait when an opportunity to do so comes up in the near future.
So, this question can be used to make a girl more likely to agree to do something adventurous with you. For example, let’s say you meet a girl, it’s going well, and you want to invite her to your place, this technique will help tip the odds in your favor that she will agree to come with you. Simple as that.
You don’t need to be nervous
This is a great example of framing the interaction in a way that benefits you. At any point in your interaction you can say, “You don’t need to be nervous.” This implies that she is acting nervous. She doesn’t actually have to be nervous when you say this, the purpose of this is to get her to wonder if she’s acting the way she’s acting because she’s nervous.
She’ll start analyzing herself and think, “Why do I seem nervous? Am I nervous?” The beauty here is that getting her to wonder if she’s nervous, can actually make her a bit nervous.
Nervousness and attraction go hand-in-hand, and due to something called the misattribution of arousal, her nervousness can actually make her more attracted to you.
By the way, you can see an example of this technique used by Russel Brand in this interview.
My eyes are up here
Whenever a girl looks away, you can say, “My eyes are up here.” It doesn’t matter if she’s looking at your body or looking away from you, you are intentionally misinterpreting what her eyes are doing.
Doing this insinuates that she’s checking you out, without directly saying it. She can’t say, “I’m not checking you out,” because you’re not actually saying she is, but you are implying it.
This will make her wonder why you said that, she might think, “Have I been checking him out?” This is getting her reacting to you, while also making her think about the interaction within a sexual frame, which is obviously to your benefit.
But there’s another purpose to this line that’s even more insidious. You’re telling her that she’s not making good eye contact without saying it as a complaint or defensively, once you say this, she’s going to feel like she needs to make stronger eye contact with you.
Eye contact is extremely powerful (check out this article for more), and getting a girl to make strong eye contact with you can be a great way to increase her sexual arousal towards you.
I wish we were in Vegas right now
I actually got this one from a model I met at a club. While we were dancing, she said, “I wish we were in Vegas right now.”
I asked, “Why?”
She replied, “Oh, I don’t know, it was fun there, different, you know?” Of course, I wondered what this meant, and I figured she was saying she wanted to have sex with me, but she felt like she couldn’t because she would only do something like that in Vegas. This intrigued me, but it also made me doubt whether I could get her.
Use this when an interaction is going well, when you’re vibing with a girl. Saying, “I wish we were in Vegas right now.” (Or anything else that implies you like her, but it can’t happen because of the situation) is powerful because it implies you’re attracted to her while simultaneously implying nothing can happen between the two of you.
This lets you sexualize the interaction without the risk of it making her feel defensive, after all, you’ve implied that nothing can happen. This will increase the sexual tension and get her wondering what exactly you mean, and her desire to solve the mystery may help lead her to your bedroom, (even though you’re not in Vegas).
Wrapping Up The Power of Words- 5 Flirting Tips For Men
These five words and phrases will help you add some intrigue into your interactions. To be clear, this is the icing on the cake, you don’t need to use lines like these, but they’re fun to use and experiment with.
Like I said, a line isn’t going to make you attractive, if you’re not confident, no line is going to trick a girl into thinking you are. But, using the right words can turn a good interaction into a great interaction, so enjoy trying these.
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