No, the term bitch shield isn’t from some weird Star Trek porn. It’s a term that nerdy guys learning how to pick up chicks use to describe attractive women’s initial resistance to interacting with them – especially in nightclubs.
The most beautiful women at clubs tend to have full-strength bitch shields when aspiring Casanovas approach them. So, it’s important to learn exactly what a bitch shield is and how to dismantle one if you want to get results with these beautiful women.
Why Women Have Bitch Shields
A bitch shield is a defense-mechanism. Imagine what it would be like if every time you walked down the street, homeless people constantly harassed you asking for money. And, worse, if you were polite to these homeless people, they wouldn’t leave you alone, they’d just follow you around desperate for some of your money.
That would suck, right?
Well, what would you do to minimize this harassment? You would be a dick whenever one of these homeless people approached you. You would make it clear that you’re not interested in talking to them.
That’s how a hot woman feels in a nightclub. She’s constantly approached by these needy guys who want something from her.
So, attractive women learn to detract these needy guys with an automated firewall response. They make it clear they’re not interested in being hit on by another loser guy.
For the most part, this is an effective strategy. The only problem with it is that when you approach a hot girl, she’s going to assume you’re just another loser from the club, even if you’re not.
That hot girl doesn’t know how cool you are, she doesn’t know that you’re not just another desperate, annoying club guy. So, she’s going to treat you like crap when you first meet her.
Don’t assume that just because a girl is standoffish at first, that she’s always that way or that she’s just a bad person. She’s acting that way to protect herself from getting stalked by some creepy dude- she doesn’t know how awesome you are until you prove it.
To a hot club girl, you’re a creepy douchebag until proven otherwise.
Prove Her Wrong
Most guys respond to a bitch shield by getting butt-hurt. They take it personally and either walk away or say something mean to the girl like, “You’re such a bitch.”
Not an effective strategy. If you want to ‘dismantle’ a bitch shield, your best bet is to kill it with kindness. If you’re positive, fun, and carefree even when she’s giving you nothing to work with, it will show her that you’re not like the rest of the club douchebags.
Assume that her initially negative response to you is her automatic reaction to being approached in general: it has nothing to do with you specifically. Give her a couple minutes to warm up to you, give her the chance to see that you’re an awesome, charismatic guy who she’d want to have a real interaction with.
I need to be clear that this doesn’t mean you can’t take a rejection maturely. Sometimes a girl just won’t want to have anything to do with you, and you should respect that.
At the same time, don’t take her initially negative response to you too seriously, give her a bigger sample of your personality so she can make an informed decision.
To know when to persist and when to back off, as a rule of thumb: if a girl asks you to leave or leaves herself, then respect that. But, if she’s just being standoffish and not giving you much to work with, you can often still turn it around.
In my personal experience, I’ve found that, more often than not, you can get past a bitch shield and have a friendly conversation with the girl. No, you can’t sleep with every girl who has a bitch shield, but you can almost always break through it and reach the point where she’s happy to talk to you for a few minutes.
Although bitch shields can be annoying, they’re actually a great test of your game. How you react to bitch shields can give you a good sense of what you need to work on.
1.You Take Yourself Too Seriously
If after you interact with a girl who has her bitch shield up, you feel upset at her (or yourself). it’s a sign that you take yourself too seriously, and you need to work on being more carefree/lighthearted.
If this is you, I’d recommend working on self-amusement. To do so, do things that someone who took themselves seriously would never do.
For example, you can do the awkward laugh exercise. When you interact with a girl, laugh whenever she finishes speaking in a completely exaggerated way.
Another great self-amusement exercise is to use pickup lingo when talking to girls, for example, “Hey, I just wanted to demonstrate higher value by negging you.”
You can also practice self-amusement by using awkward pickup lines, my personal favorite is, “Is it hot in here, or is that the holy spirit burning inside of you?”
You can also come up with your own exercises, the gist is simply to do something that is awkward on purpose so that you stop trying so hard to come off as a ‘cool guy’.
I know you might be thinking, “Yeah, but the girl I use the awkward laugh on is going to think I’m weird, she won’t like me.” Well, that’s kind of the point, you’re not trying to make her like you, you’re interacting with her for your own fun, not to get something from her.
The self-amusement exercise isn’t about getting the girl, it’s about learning to let go of your ego so that you can become more attractive in general.
2. You’re Taking Value
If you have trouble breaking through bitch shields, it’s a sign that you’re taking value instead of offering value.
Basically, you’re reliant on her good reaction to feel good about yourself. If you weren’t taking value at all, you would feel good no matter how she reacted.
Usually this happens when you’re not putting yourself in a vulnerable position enough. If you don’t regularly take risks that lead to rejection, then whenever a girl gives you a bad reaction, it’ll hit your ego hard.
If when you go out, you genuinely risk rejection (by asking women on dates, expressing your interest, etc.), you’ll stop caring about bad reactions because you’ll become numb to them.
If a girl giving you a bad initial reaction, it’s telling you that you’re not facing rejection enough, the solution is obvious, you’ll want to start putting your ego on the line by risking rejection more often when you go out.
Conclusion- What Is a Bitch Shield and How Do You Dismantle It?
Don’t blame women for having bitch-shields, it’s something you can’t fully understand as a man because you don’t have creepy guys approaching you all night and trying to fuck you.
Fortunately, because a bitch shield is just an automatic response, it can be ‘dismantled.’ Show her that you aren’t like the other guys by being positive and lighthearted despite her standoffishness, and she’ll let her guard down and have a real conversation with you.
If bitch shields are causing you trouble, don’t blame women for being bitches, take responsibility and think about what this is saying about you. Are you taking value? Are you taking yourself too seriously? Once you know what’s causing the difficulty, you’ll be able to proactively solve the problem by changing your behavior.
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