“Everything is about sex, except sex, sex is about power.” – Oscar Wilde
A woman might sleep with you because she’s physically attracted to you, she might sleep with you because she was recently broken up with, and she might sleep with you simply because she’s bored. There are countless reasons women choose to sleep with men, but most of them aren’t under your control.
Fortunately, one irresistible motivation for a woman to sleep with you is something you can control. Nothing is more intoxicating than power, and when a woman feels that sleeping with you will net her an increase in power, it will be nearly impossible for her to fight the temptation to be with you.
Sex and Power
Think about it this way: why is it that men are so obsessed with sleeping with beautiful women? Is it because the sheer physical pleasure of the experience? Hardly, if it was about pleasure, we’d all be lining up to get fellatio from even the least attractive women around.
If it’s not about sexual pleasure for us guys, what is it about?
Power- sleeping with a beautiful woman means an increase in power. It’s all about ego, if you “get” a beautiful girl, you’ll want to show her off to your friends, you’ll be proud of yourself, and you’ll have a sense that you’ve accomplished something.
Our society teaches us that the ultimate accomplishment as a man is sleeping with a “perfect ten”. Our sense of our power is deeply tied in with our ability to attract beautiful women.
Women are taught something very different- it isn’t about getting a hot guy, it’s about getting a successful, high-status guy.
If a woman perceives you to be high-status, then having sex with you will mean an increase in power for her. If a woman perceives you to be low-status, then having sex with you will mean a decrease in power for her.
The Status Delusion
Unfortunately, most men totally misunderstand what status really is. Yes, wearing a Rolex and driving a Lamborghini are the trappings of success, and if a woman sees you have these things, it will work in your favor.
But, the external signs of success aren’t all that matter, what matters most are the emotional signs of success. If you can make a woman feel that you are high-status – whether or not you are financially successful – then she will feel that you are powerful and will in turn, feel attracted to you.
This concept can be difficult to grasp because we have been taught our whole lives that status is best defined by a salary, a big house, or something else external. Yet, there’s a confusion of cause and effect going on here.
People who have an impressive income, an expensive house, or any other form of external status tend to be very self-confident socially, either because they were raised to feel entitled, or because they were driven to succeed.
We assume it’s the money that attracts women, and although that plays a role, it’s mostly the personality traits that high-status people share – confidence and assertiveness – that attracts them.
This is because the human brain didn’t evolve in modern society, it evolved over hundreds of thousands of years: there were no fancy cars or expensive watches in the environment that the human brain developed in.
Females couldn’t determine who was an alpha-male based on his possessions, they had to rely on the currency of the time: men’s behavior.
So, if a man acted like he was powerful, as far as a woman was concerned, he must actually be powerful. If a woman gets the emotional impression that you are high-status/an alpha-male, she will feel sexually attracted to you, simple as that.
Our brains haven’t changed much since our tribal past, so the female brain still responds to a male’s behavior more powerfully than his possessions.
And although you can’t quickly change your level of material success, you can quickly change your behavior.
What women really want is power, and if sleeping with you represents a net gain in power, she will feel attraction for you. To represent a gain in power, you must make her feel that you are high/status/an alpha male, and that boils down to your confidence and assertiveness.
Most men think that to attract a beautiful woman they must make her like them. There’s nothing wrong with being likeable, but the way most guys go about it gives away their power as a man.
A man is powerful when he lives according to his own values and goes for what he wants without apologizing for it.
Most men interact with women thinking that the way to get her is to be her emotional tampon, to befriend her until she really trusts him, then can finally make a move.
This is the mindset of someone who doesn’t see themselves as high-status, it’s the mindset of a citizen trying to get a favor from the king.
Instead, act like a king interacting with a citizen. Make it clear what you want and expect that you will get it. If you act like you have power, she will feel like you have power, and thus she will feel attracted to you.
Signs of Power
Here I’m going to break down some specific examples of what it looks like to come from a place of power when interacting with a woman:
If you’re attracted to a woman, and she thinks you’re just a friend after you’ve known her for several hours, you’re not coming from a place of power.
If you’re attracted to a woman, and you break eye contact before she does, you’re not coming from a place of power.
If you’re attracted to a woman, and you laugh when she says something that isn’t actually funny, you’re not coming from a place of power.
If you’re attracted to a woman, and you decide not to make a move because “she’s not that kind of girl,” you’re not coming from a place of power.
If you’re attracted to a woman, and you wait to be physical in any way until she’s touched you first, you’re not coming from a place of power.
Conclusion: What Women Really Want
What women really want is a man who is powerful. Don’t oversimplify this and take it to mean that other factors don’t play a role, they do. But power is the most powerful quality that anyone can cultivate to attract women.
If you’re wondering, “How do I actually gain more power?” The simple answer is to put yourself out there and face rejection. Ask women out, go on dates, take risks: as you do so, you will stop trying so hard to please everyone you talk to because you’ll have become numb to rejection. Then, you’ll be able to operate from a place of power when interacting with women.
You can keep saving up for that Rolex to attract the occasional low self-esteem gold digger, or you can develop your personal power to attract nearly every woman you meet- the choice is yours.
This article originally appeared on: